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Positive Parenting Solutions for Dealing with a Misbehaving Child

As I explained in a recent post “What is Positive Parenting?” a key component of successful parenting and dealing with a child’s misbehavior is using a non-violent, calm and loving-guidance approach. There are many things you can do as a parent to help your child grow in a healthy and constructive environment and certainly following successful positive parenting techniques is one of them. So here are some practical positive parenting solutions for moms and dads who want and are willing to make a change in their parenting approach.

Positive Parenting Solutions for Dealing with a Misbehaving Child

Positive Parenting Starts from You

It is the parent’s behavior and reaction that affects the child’s conduct and demeanor more than anything else. If you want your child to behave right, you need to behave right as well. Parents need to be able to model the type of behavior they want their child to follow and imitate. The first step, in positive parenting for every parent is to examine their style of parenting and make positive changes that contribute to improvements in their child’s behavior. For children to be able to follow good behaviors, they need to see good behaviors in action.

Be a Consistent Parent

If you make a rule for the house, make sure you consistently follow and enforce the same rule. Don’t be afraid to tell your child that his or her behavior is not acceptable. When it comes to young children, you need to know that overlooking bad behaviors will only result in more bad behaviors. Consistency simply means set rules are the same for this time and another. Consistency enables children to develop a sense of responsibility and helps them know what is exactly expected from them.

Good Communication is Everything

As a parent, there is nothing more important than communicating effectively with your children. Make sure you talk to your kids regularly about following rules and respecting others. Parents need to spend time with children and explain to them why some rules and values are foremost important and why it is imperative for them to behave in a certain way. Kids need to learn and understand your values and expectations before emulating them and this won’t happen unless you explain them to children with respect and compassion.

Use Discipline with Love

All parents need to correct and discipline their children. Discipline should not involve yelling, scolding, finger-pointing or any type of physical punishment. Remember that positive parenting is all about establishing a good relationship with children. This doesn’t mean bad behaviors should be ignored and overlooked. Positive parenting involves providing children corrective guidance and gentle discipline that is combined with love and away from any punitive action.

Be Open to Make Changes

Parenting by itself is a tough job. Positive parenting may seem even more difficult as it involves changing directions and discarding old habits. As you start to employ positive parenting solutions, identify the areas you need to make improvements in your life. Be willing and work hard to make gradual changes in your parenting style. With some patience and consistency, you will see results in your child’s behavior.



How to Get Children to Listen

Do you feel like your child is not listening to you? If so, you definitely are not the only parent with this familiar problem. A common question most parents ask themselves is “will kids ever listen?” If your child doesn’t seem to listen to you, and explaining and disciplining have not worked to resolve the issue, try these four parenting techniques and see how things can change dramatically in the home environment. Remember that parenting takes time, hard work and practice.

How to Get Children to Listen?

Be a Genuine Parent

It is true that parents are the first role-models for young children. Children watch their parents very carefully. The number one rule of parenting is to do as what you want your child to behave. Children are influenced by how you act more than by what you say. If you want your child not to scream, make sure you’re not caught doing the exact same thing yourself. Your goal should be to build a positive image of a responsible parent for your child; someone whom your child can trust and look up to.

Be a Good Listener

If you want your child to listen to what you say make sure you develop good listening habits yourself. When your child talks to you about something important to him, stop your work, make eye-contact with him, listen to his argument and acknowledge his concern. Whether you agree or disagree to your child’s comments, pay attention to what he has to say and let him know that his concerns are heard, understood and considered.

Admit Your Mistakes

There is no such term as a “perfect parent” in the real world. After all, parents are human too! We all make mistakes time to time. There are times that we might lose our tempers and say things that we shouldn’t say and do things that we shouldn’t do. If situations like this happen, don’t let things go unexplained. It is important to let your child know that you made a mistake, you’re sorry about what happened and you’re planning to make things right. This is an important part of your job as a teacher and a role-model. Admitting and acknowledging your mistakes, encourages your child to do the same and strengthens the bond between parents and children.

Be a Positive Parent

When you see your child doing something positive or accomplishing something new, notice the good action and praise your child. Praising sincerely for good reasons can motivate children to listen and follow instructions from parents. This is not about indulging your child but about building a healthy parent-child relationship and recognizing children’s efforts for good behavior.


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What is Positive Parenting?

As parents, we all want our children to be on their best behavior. We desire to raise kids who become polite, honest, responsible and respectful individuals. So, it is natural when children misbehave, we tend to correct their actions and show them the exact right behavior right away. You can generally do this in two ways: use forceful discipline or lean towards a positive-parenting approach.

what is positive parenting?

Recently, we hear the term “positive parenting” a lot. Positive parenting involves skills for disciplining a child without harsh and forceful enforcement. Good parenting is not an easy task. It is a full time job that requires a lot of patience, coaching and learning effective parenting techniques. Here we answer these two questions for moms and dads, “what is positive parenting?” and “why should we be using it?”

The Meaning of Positive Parenting

Positive parenting refers to attentive discipline and guidance offered to children by parents in a non-violent and positive way. The main idea behind positive parenting is that children should be treated with respect, love and care, free from any violence, physical punishment and verbal mistreatment. In a positive parenting model, discipline doesn’t mean to punish; it simply means to teach children the right way of conduct and the way we want them to behave.

The goal of positive parenting is to raise children who want to behave rather than children who are forced to behave. Overpowering, humiliation and scolding make children feel powerless, discouraged and frustrated. Such punitive actions significantly lower the self-esteem in children, make them feel bad about themselves, and raise children whose sole interest is in pleasing parents. Positive parenting on the other hand encourages good behavior in children through teaching, loving guidance and proper role-modeling.

What Positive Parenting doesn’t Mean

Positive parenting is not about following a set of rules or guidelines. It is a way of living and a lifestyle accepted and adopted by both parents in a family. Positive parenting is about knowing what’s right for children and how to respond to their requests. It teaches parents how to encourage and recognize a good behavior by simple words, smiles and warm hugs.

Positive parenting does not mean tolerance and softness by any means. Misbehaved children still need to be guided, disciplined, and kept on the right path. Parents do need to teach the proper behavior in a positive and effective way that is absorbed and understood by children.

Why Choose Positive Parenting

Positive parenting encourages self-discipline, responsibility and confidence in children. It takes away anger, fear, misbehavior and violence from the family environment and makes both kids and parents calmer and happier. Positive parenting creates a secure loving bond between kids and parents. It brings parents and children closer to each other and makes parents role-models that children can look up to.

Studies have shown that children respond to gentle guidance far better than punishment and harsh discipline. Punishment strengthens the sense of revenge in children and results in more fights and misbehavior in the long run. On the other hand, positive parenting reduces the fights and power struggles between parents and children. There is nothing more important than providing an environment where children can learn and grow without fear, stress and anxiety. Positive-parenting styles help parents to create such a peaceful environment for children within the family.

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Successful Time-Out Techniques for Parents

Do you know the components of a successful time-out? Time-out is not just “go to your room and correct your actions”. The goal of a time-out is to change your child’s behavior in a positive and nonviolent way. To accomplish this goal, parents need to learn and employ the necessary time-out techniques that stop the rebellion and correct the child’s behavior positively and effectively. Here are the most successful time-out techniques used by parents and proven to work when employed properly.

Successful Time-out Techniques for Parents

Designate a Time-Out Spot

A key component of a successful time-out is the time-out area. This is a location where your child can sit or stand and contemplate on his bad behavior away from any distractions. A good time-out area is where you are able to monitor your child and make sure he is safe. Locations like the corner of a living room or hallway, kitchen table or a portable time-out chair are acceptable time-out spots. Kid’s own bedroom or closed door rooms are not suitable locations for time-out. The key is that you should be able to watch and monitor your child during the time-out.

Time-Out should be Brief and Quiet

Keep time-out brief and quiet. A good rule of thumb for determining the required length of time-out is 1 x child’s age. A 2-year old gets 2 minutes, a 3-year old gets 3 minutes, and a 5-year old gets 5 minutes of time-out. You can always adjust the time-out period based on the severity of the case and your child’s receptiveness to the corrective action. During the time-out, your child is not allowed to talk, make noise, play games or watch TV. Time-out should be a quiet time designated for a child so he can rethink his behavior and correct his actions.

Be Consistent and Follow Through

If you’ve told your child that a specific behavior will result in time-out, make sure you follow through every time your child crosses the line. One of the important components of successful time-out strategies is consistency. As a parent, you don’t want to fall in a trap of false threats and no response. Your child needs to take you seriously. Every time your child acts up and does things that require discipline, make sure time-out is called and time-out rules are followed. If your child leaves the time-out area too soon, bring him back to the designated spot and restart the time-out.

No Humiliation and No Scolding

Explain to your child his bad behavior and why he needs to go to time-out. Stay calm and avoid any humiliation and scolding language. Yelling, criticizing and physical punishment will all have negative effects on your child’s behavior and will undo what a successful time-out strategy can accomplish. A successful time-out will shape and correct your child’s behavior without the need for punishment and destructive language.

Talk after Time-Out

One of the effective time-out techniques ignored by most parents is the talk after time-out. After each time-out, sit down with your child and talk about what went on, why you think your child’s action was wrong and how it was affecting you or others. Make sure your child understands why he was sent to time-out. Ask for his opinion and how he feels about what he has done. Acceptance and apology are signs that show your child acknowledges his bad behavior and tends to correct his actions.


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Teaching Kids about Money: A Guide for Parents

Teaching kids about money is one of the most important roles of parents during the childhood years. Kids who learn about the value of money and the importance of saving will become financially responsible adults who save and spend wisely when they grow up. It is important for parents to make financial education a family priority by teaching kids the value of saving, budgeting and investing starting from an early age. Here are six ways for parents to start teaching kids about money and cultivating a positive attitude towards saving.

Teaching Kids about Money

ONE | Teach Children How to Save

Give each child a clear piggy bank or a jar and ask them to start saving money in them for a future toy or game. This will give children a motivation to save. You can provide them coins and some small change occasionally to put in their money jars. You want your child to develop a habit of saving money regularly from an early age and be able to see how money grows over time.

TWO | Teach Children about Coins and Bills

Teach your kids about bills, coins and their denominations as soon as they are able to understand the numbers and the counting sequence. Show them different dolor bills and coins and have them memorize their values. You don’t need to confuse your child with complicated addition and subtraction. You just want them to understand a $10 bill is worth more than a $5 bill, and a $5 bill is worth more than a $1 bill.

THREE | Let Children Pay Cash

Children need to understand things cost money. When you go to grocery store to shop for small items, let your kids pay at the register with cash. This way they will learn how much each bill is literally worth. They will understand the meaning of buying and that you receive things by exchanging them with money.

FOUR | Let Children Manage their Allowance

Give children a weekly allowance and have them manage their own money themselves. Managing their own allowance teaches children important financial skills as well as financial responsibility. Occasionally check with them on how they spend their money. Let kids have control and make mistakes but guide them along the way.

FIVE | Open a Saving Account

Open a saving account for each child at a very early age. Let children know you are saving money for their future. If children receive cash as a gift, ask them if they want to contribute a portion of it to their own saving account. Explain to kids why you are saving money in a bank account and why saving money is important for their future.

SIX | Let Children Know Money is Earned

Explain to your child that mom and dad work really hard to bring money home. Teach kids that money is not a free commodity. If your child wants you to buy him a remote control car for $20, ask them to save $5 a week, so they can get what they want after saving for four weeks. You can still provide your child the $5 contribution each week and have him to save it in his money jar for the future purchase.


What is Time-Out?

Are you a parent who uses the word “time-out” frequently throughout the day to discipline the young kids in the house? Do you know the real meaning and the purpose of time-outs for children? If you are a mom or a dad to a toddler or a preschooler, the chances are you’re using this term on a day by day basis to handle and alleviate the out-of-control situations with your kids. Here, we want to give you more insights on the true meaning of time-out, the weight it carries and the real purpose behind it.

What is Time-out?

When was the first time you heard the term “time-out”? Most probably you’ve heard this term called in sports like football, baseball, basketball or hockey so many times. In sports, time-out is a halt in the game activity. Time-out is requested by the coach to let the team regroup, strategize and get back in the game refocused and in balance. Time-out works exactly the same way in the home as it does in the sports.

So, what is time-out?

Time-out is a call to stop the negative behavior of a child, letting him rethink, revise and regulate his actions before getting back to a normal activity. The idea behind a time-out is for a parent to remove the child from his current environment, put a pause on his bad behavior, calm the situation and let the child know a wrong action has been taken. Most parents have a designated spot for time-outs, such as a time-out chair or corner of a room or hallway. The goal is to provide a quite place free of distractions so your child can rethink his action.

What time-out isn’t

Time-out is one of the most misunderstood discipline strategies by parents. What most parents don’t know is that time-out is not a punishment for a bad conduct. Time-out is a nonviolent parental technique used to inform the child of his unpleasant behavior, divert attention from him and give him a chance to calm down and reshape his behavior. Time-out is a warning and a reminder for a child that he is doing something wrong and his actions will not be tolerated.

What is the age criteria for time-out?

To successfully employ the time-out strategies in the house, your child should be old enough to understand what is acceptable and what is not. Toddlers usually reach this stage of reasoning somewhere between the age of 2 and 3. By this age, your child has developed enough reasoning skills to understand the difference between good and bad, and why a bad action should not be tolerated. At this stage, if your child hits his little brother or beaks a glass bowl on purpose, he knows he has done something wrong by nature.



How to Encourage Good Behavior in Children

how to encourage good behavior in childrenOne of the important responsibilities of every parent is to encourage good behavior in their children. This is not always easy. Parents find themselves in difficult and sometimes conflicting situations when they need to confront or advocate the kids. There are a few simple and stress-free ways you can use to make children behave positively. Follow these strategies that can help you to encourage good behavior in your children.

ONE | Let Them Know When They are Good

One effective way to encourage good behavior in your child is to praise him for the good act. If you see your child doing something positive, take a note of that and make sure he understands that you like his performance. If your child organizes his room neatly, let him know you like what he’s done and encourage him by saying something like “wow, you organized your room so nicely.”

TWO | Listen and Acknowledge

There is nothing more important to a child than to make sure he is acknowledged and listened to by his parents. Even if your child’s request is unacceptable, spend some time to engage him in a friendly conversation. Get down to your child’s level. Make eye contacts with him. Speak in a calm voice. Ask why he feels a certain way and explain to him why you think this is not the right way. Your child need to feel that he is important to you and his voice is listened, even though his request is not accepted.

THREE | Talk about Consequences

Talk to your child about the results and consequences of his actions. Help him to understand what happens if he follows a certain bad behavior or why he needs to behave in a certain way. For instance, let your child know if he drops the bowl of rice, then he is responsible for the aftermath cleanup. If he fights with little Johnny, then he will lose the afternoon TV time, and so on.

FOUR | Be a Role Model

how to encourage good behavior in childrenIf you are a parent, you need to know that you are your child’s first role model. Children learn from their parents. Every action you take and every word that you say is observed and recorded by your child. So if you want to encourage a good behavior in your child, make sure that you always follow that same behavior. For instance, if you want your child to say “please” when he or she needs something, make sure you use “please” when you need to ask for something too. Yes, it’s that simple!

FIVE | Be a Reliable Parent who Keeps Promises

Your child needs to trust you as a parent. If you promise him something, make sure you fulfill that promise. It is important to establish a trust relationship with your child. If you promise to take your son some place or buy him something make sure you fulfill the promise. This strengthens your position as an authority and as a parent in the family. Your child knows that he can depend on you in any situation.


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Traveling with a Toddler: Tips for Smooth Summer Road Trips with a Toddler

Traveling with a Toddler: Tips for Smooth Summer Road Trips with a Toddler


Are you planning for a summer road trip with the family? Traveling with a toddler in a car can be quite challenging and exhausting for everyone. Toddlers get bored so quickly. They demand a lot of attention and they need appealing play solutions along the way. Follow these tips for ensuring a smooth and easy ride when traveling with a toddler.

Keep your Toddler Entertained

Toys can keep kids occupied for a good amount of time during a car trip. Bring a box of toys with you in the car. Try to pick toys you know your toddler will be interested in. If within your budget, surprise him with a new toy that he hasn’t played with before. The more engaging a toy is, the longer your toddler spends time playing with it. Toys like Geo Shapes Lacing, Stacking Rings, and Geometric Shape Boards can keep your toddler engaged and entertained in the car.

Schedule your Travel based on Sleep Times

Traveling with a Toddler: Tips for Smooth Summer Road Trips with a Toddler

Smoothest rides are when babies sleep in the car. Try to take advantage of your toddler’s nap and sleep times by scheduling your trip within those hours. If you are a night person and are fine with driving at night, schedule your car trip when your child goes to sleep. If you prefer to drive in the daytime and your toddler takes daytime naps, plan to leave before the nap time begins. You can use these quiet hours to travel some miles without hearing fussing and whining in the car.

Prepare for Frequent Stops

Plan for frequent stops. Your toddler gets tired of sitting in a car seat for long hours. Make sure you stop the car and take a break at least every two hours or so. Try to stop in a safe rest area, preferably near parks, playgrounds or a place with a play area for children. You can use this time to get food, fill up the tank and change the diaper if needed. Your toddler will be able to walk around, play and release some energy before the next ride begins.

Watch Nursery Rhymes

We are no advocates of digital entertainment for very young children. We know traveling with a toddler in a warm summer day can be quite challenging and sometimes frustrating. If you have a DVD player or a digital media player in the car, playing nursery rhymes can calm your child during the rough fussy hours. Make sure you limit this time to one or two hours for the entire road trip. You want your toddler to be able to play, laugh, communicate and look outside, not staring at a screen for the whole trip.

No Toddler in the Back Seat Alone

When traveling with a toddler, make sure you have someone sitting next to your child in the back seat at all times. An older child, a second parent or another adult companion sitting in the back seat with your toddler can help with keeping your child entertained, playing and communicating with your toddler during the road trip.

Avoid Rush Hours

Lastly, make sure you check the traffic before hitting the road. Rush hours can add unwanted extra travel time to your trip. Schedule your travel time such that you can avoid the rush hour traffic in big cities.


How to Potty Train your Toddler The Easy Way

How to Potty Train Your Toddler The Easy WayYou know it’s time to say goodbye to the diapers but you’re still hesitant where to start and how to potty train your toddler. Potty training is a major milestone for parents and toddlers alike. You need to plan ahead and devote your time in order to get the little ones out of diapers. This could be a stressful task for some parents, but with some practice the process can get easier. Here are six tips on how to potty train your toddler the easy way.

ONE | Wait till Your Child is Ready

Both you and your child must be ready before you start the potty training. Remember that you should not force your toddler to use the potty. This has to be a willful act; otherwise, your child will associate negative feelings towards the potty and it will take you an even longer time to potty train him.

TWO | Use the “Dry Run” Technique

Get a potty chair and have your child sit on it for a dry run. It’s means sitting on a chair without actually going. The idea is to get your child used to sitting on a potty chair before it’s actually time to potty. This will get your child mentally ready for the real potty time.

THREE | Relax and Be Patient

Potty training is a big challenge for most parents. It takes a lot of patience and practice to potty train a toddler. You’re doing your best to figure out how to potty train your child, but things seem not going in the right direction. Well, that’s completely normal! Be patient! Time and persistency will resolve most of the issues.

FOUR | Give Instructions

Explain to your toddler what we are doing and why we are doing it. By the age of 2, your child is able to listen to instructions and follow directions. Explain the process in simple words to your child. For instance, show your toddler the pooped diaper and why the yucky stuff has to go into the drain.

FIVE | Offer Rewards for Success

If words and instructions can’t get your toddler to sit on a potty chair, then it’s time to offer some incentives. As you might already know, bribery will always work with a toddler. Find out what your child likes, and offer him or her a prize in exchange for sitting on a potty chair for certain amount of time. The prize could be as simple as a half cookie or M&M’s

SIX | Be Ready for Failed Attempts

As you might already know, nothing will always go perfect with a toddler. Be ready for failed attempts and getting pee or poop in the pants or on the floor. Remember, this is called potty “Training”. You need to take your time and try different techniques to figure out how to potty train your toddler. With some patience and practice, you will succeed.

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How to Motivate Kids to Learn

How to motivate kids to learnYou know your child is a smart kid and you know he will learn if he decides to focus on a subject but he lacks interest in studying and doing any schoolwork. This is a common dilemma for a lot of parents: how to motivate kids to learn? The truth is children are naturally curious and they like to explore and discover. Your role as a parent should be to direct your child’s curiosity and interest towards something that’s accomplishable and useful to him. Below are some great ideas that can help you to motivate kids to learn and do well in school.

Discover and Encourage

The first step towards motivating your child is to learn what he likes and what he enjoys doing. Get to know your child’s interests. Ask him what he likes to do and what activities he is more interested in. Does he like sports, science, community activities or politics?
Once you know what activities your child most enjoys doing, use them to motivate him to study and finish his school work. If you see improvements and your child actually gets involved in studying and learning, then reward him with the activities that he enjoys. If he is not persistent in focusing on the school work, then withhold those activities until he completes the school work.

Use Learning Toys

use Learning Toys to motivate kids to learnKids always enjoy fun activities that involve playing. Kids also like toys which are their main tools for playing and having fun. Learning toys are excellent motivators that can help your child become interested in learning as part of the play process. The goal is to help your child take the first step towards learning a new subject.

If your child does not show interest in science, try to introduce him to science toys. If he lacks interest in math, use math, number and counting toys to get him involved in a math-learning play activity. If he struggles with writing, then try writing and spelling toys to get him interested in learning words while playing games. Learning toys can help you to show your child how fun learning could be.

Focus on Strengths and Celebrate Achievements

Never scold your child for things that he doesn’t know. Instead try to focus on what he has learned and give him encouragement to work on areas that needs improvement. When your child gets a good grade or accomplishes a milestone, give him praise and celebrate the occasion. The best way to motivate kids to learn is through positive parenting. Nagging and threatening will never motivate kids to learn. As a parent you need to help your child learn how to grow and improve his work, step by step and in his own pace.